THANK YOU, GOD!

                                                                 

Dear God,

As the end of 2012 is fast approaching, I want to say thank you for:

1. The blessings that you have given me and my family
2. Ella, Mikey, Gabbie, Ayen and Paulo
3. for our health
4. all the trials that made me strong and wiser.
5. the food on the table
6. the clothes to wear
7. the financial challenges that has taught me life's simplicity
8. the few good and faithful friends
9. a renewed christian faith
10. providing all our needs and not our wants (wants can come later :) )
11. never leaving our side every single day of our lives
12. stretching your provision so we can survive month on month
13. my job
14. my husband
15. my family
16. the people I have met this year that made me realize how blessed we are despite our difficult situation
17. Your love
18. Your forgiveness
19. steadfast faith
20. endless hopes
21. waking me every morning
22. I breathe your gift of life
23. I feel your gift of life
24. I see your goodness in all your creations
25. keeping me safe when I travel to and from work
26. new friends
27. old friends
28. the year that was
29. the year that is about to come
30. ...............

I can go on and on because every part of me and my whole being is all about you. I trip at times, I cry at times, I get broken hearted from time to time but Your Grace is just so amazing that It makes me still look and press forward.

THANK YOU GOD! YOU ARE TRULY MAGNIFICENT!

Just venting out...

Moving on...

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote something in here. I only have few entries and by golly, all of  them are heartbreaking. That was December 2010, let’s fast forward to now…….

Life is being nicer to me now. I guess, life’s challenges will always be there. It’s the only constant thing in this world and how you deal with it is your own game. If you let it defeat you, then, that will be your end but if you let it in your life, go with it – you win some, you lose some -, then you might just be heading to a better you.

You can always get by with a little help from friends.

More than just financial, it’s their inputs, their experiences, their words of encouragement that will help you fight even the most challenging situation in your life and win your game. Friends will always have answers, since they see the other side of the box and you don’t.

Above all, PRAY. It helps. In fact, at the end of the day, that’s the only thing we've got.

Birthday

I can hardly remember the last time when I can't wait for my birthday to come...
'counting the days when it's almost going to happen within a week time.

Trying....trying....yes, I remember..it was years (15?!)  ago when I felt so excited and happy that my birthday was fast approaching..15 long years...and it has changed..

My birthday would come and just pass by like any normal day since then. Now, I even sometimes feel so unfortunate that I had to be born.

1st half of my 32 years were the sweetest birthdays, the other half went passed like ordinary ones...and still is now..

Birthday to me!

♪ Smile - Charlie Chaplin

Running out of reasons...

I feel so useless
I feel so worthless
I am running out of reasons to live.

I was given (?!) or maybe, I took (that's more like it) a responsibility that was over and beyond my means... I only wanted to help. I only wanted to make their life easy while I am away. I only wanted them to be happy.

I was not selfish, I can't even think about myself. But why am I being punished?
All these problems seem endless, irreparable.

The more I try to find solutions, not a single one can be found.

I am being provided by temporary solutions that only drag me more to drown in my current situation.

I can't take care of my kids...
I can't provide for them anymore...
I am so far away from them...
I want to hug them but I can't...

Is there any reason enough for me to want to live?

St. Jude

I remember once, when the father of one of our close friends died...he mentioned that he was praying for his father's speedy recovery to St. Jude, Patron Saint of those in need.

My friend's wish was granted in a different way though. His father was no longer in pain. He is no longer struggling as our good Lord took him to a rather perfect place of happiness.

Thinking about it makes me realize that God always answers our prayers but most of the time, not in the way that we wanted.

With my problems, mounting endlessly, I am praying to St. Jude, that He would intercede in my prayers to God.

Hoping that my cross would be a little bit lighter in the coming days...

Be blessed!