Running out of reasons...

I feel so useless
I feel so worthless
I am running out of reasons to live.

I was given (?!) or maybe, I took (that's more like it) a responsibility that was over and beyond my means... I only wanted to help. I only wanted to make their life easy while I am away. I only wanted them to be happy.

I was not selfish, I can't even think about myself. But why am I being punished?
All these problems seem endless, irreparable.

The more I try to find solutions, not a single one can be found.

I am being provided by temporary solutions that only drag me more to drown in my current situation.

I can't take care of my kids...
I can't provide for them anymore...
I am so far away from them...
I want to hug them but I can't...

Is there any reason enough for me to want to live?

St. Jude

I remember once, when the father of one of our close friends died...he mentioned that he was praying for his father's speedy recovery to St. Jude, Patron Saint of those in need.

My friend's wish was granted in a different way though. His father was no longer in pain. He is no longer struggling as our good Lord took him to a rather perfect place of happiness.

Thinking about it makes me realize that God always answers our prayers but most of the time, not in the way that we wanted.

With my problems, mounting endlessly, I am praying to St. Jude, that He would intercede in my prayers to God.

Hoping that my cross would be a little bit lighter in the coming days...

Be blessed!